My toes have the low down...

Medical update:



Last Friday i started to get a liver pain that felt like a sharp stab (Right side) on any deep breath ...
Having experienced it once before and it went away, i decided to go with ~resting~ and monitoring... It got worse and by Mon night i was pretty sure that Tues i would be in hospital, as the pain increased and my breathing became more and more labored to the stage where i felt i couldn't breathe... i didn't know it at the time, as i have never experienced it before but i was actually starting to hyperventilate with the stress of the pain
(Had i known i would have simply grabbed a paper bag!)
So Tues morn keeping as calm as i could, i tried to get the kids off to school as quickly as possible (with my husbands help) so that they would not be stressed/affected as i was beginning to feel that i might need to call an ambulance... i managed to get the girls off but poor old Bryce got caught as he was running late (As usual! Lol!)...

i started to feel that i couldn't breathe, i sat down, trying to catch my breath which by this time was simply very short 'in' breaths... Patrick called an ambulance... It got worse and he rang again as they had told him too... My fingers started to get 'pins and needles', then my fingers started to cramp and twist which terrified me, making me panic more and of course puff more!
Then my lips started to tingle and i felt like i was going to faint... Which i have never done before but the feeling was unmistakable, as i felt my worlde closing in on me... losing my peripheral vision... By this time i was absolutely frightened out of my brain, but only JUST able to communicate with short words... i began to wonder if something had burst? The pain was so severe and i considered that perhaps my poor old Liver was failing and i was dying?! i asked Patrick to check on Bryce (Who was up in his bedroom) and check for the ambulance as i felt i was about to... go... somewhere?
I remember thinking rather annoyed... Geez if this is my "Time" where the heck are all my 'Spirit Helpers' to guide me to 'The Light!'
(Lol! i have the luxury of a *Giggle* now in retrospect!) ...

Just at the last moment the ambulance arrives, and a lovely man takes one look at me and says that i am a poor 'ol thing stuck in late stage hyperventilation... Ohhh? Then he asks me to count to 10 between breaths, to stretch out my breathing and allowing me to get some air out again... As my body was shutting down my extremities because my blood chemistry had changed... i listened and i did as instructed and slowly my peripheral vision came back then my lips stopped tingling and my fingers uncurled... Phew!!!

So off i went then for a comfortable trip to hospital in the ambulance with two really lovely Paramedics reassuring me all the way (Is only a 10 minute trip around the corner)...
In hospital in ED (Emergency Department) i go through the usual tests (ie) Bloods and xray and they consider a CT until i chuck up all the contrast! Lol!... Then we recieve notice that my bloods are in fact FABULOUS!!! (Cancer markers all down and 3 even within the 'normal' catergory! Whoo! Hoo!) So combining that with the fact that i have no other signs of problems (ie) No yellowing of skin or eyes and all bodily functions 'normal'... We decide that the approach will be to 'settle' me down and look at some extra pain relief and some anti-nausea... The Doc's in contact with my Oncologist decide that i probably have an injury and inflamation (Of Liver) as a result and/or bleeding tumors, but the x-rays show no anomalies and even if i had bleeding tumors they would not really be able to do anything unless it was a lot and in a cavity they could drain... So another sighhh of relief (As i didn't particularly feel up to any major procedures after the morning i had experienced... Oh did i say i also chucked all over the lounge room floor? Lucky it was only a cup of tea! Lol!) ...So we start the conversation of pain relief...

Due to all my allergies this is tricky, but one clever nurse comes up with the idea of, along with my Fentanyl pain patches (which i use as they are less invasive on my sensitive oral tract, liver and etc) how about i try Indocid (Suppositories) ...Clever i say (nervously!) as again it would be less invasive on my system... And she was right! They are fab as they also act as a strong anti-inflammatory (They are often used i am told for heart patients who want to steer away from straining the upper body as they work from the other end! Lol! and go straight into the blood system with less invasion) ... So by this time it is about 6pm-ish, so i do all my Thankyou's (In the process discovering that one of my nurses lives in the street just behind mine! Lol! Small worlde!) and home i go armed with more patches, suppositories and Panadiene Forte to support the new regime for a bit...

So sitting back now i look at this little experience and start to process it to consider what has just happened to me on an emotional and spiritual level (As up until now we have only addressed the physical) and you know i believe that we heal on all three levels... So i start by looking at my current regime and realize that i need to delegate more jobs around the house particularly those that involve lifting as i feel that i may have caused an injury, as i realise that i can pin point the specific moment and what i was doing when i felt i had physically pushed myself too far... i also note that at the time, my state of mind was in 'stress mode' (Old habits i remind myself)... i also realise that a week before i had had a physical 'warning' (ie) the pain that had just lasted a few days...
I remember then that i had (as a result of that first pain experience) asked "Spirit" for some 'signs'... Something to remind me that i am on the right ~healing~ path, that i am doing the 'right' things, as i had been feeling a little low and unsure at times... Especially as i had been having some pressure by some people to visit when i had not felt up to it...
Then i think again upon what the paramedic had told me and a nurse in the hospital too... They had both commented that i appeared to have a very good understanding and strong connection to my body...The paramedic had told me that i had done really well with controlling the hyperventilating... He had said to me that very few people recover as quickly as i had from late stage hyperventilation and he told me that i must have a very strong mind to be able to do this... And then he had slipped into a story of a friend of his that had an amazing ability to overcome serious health issues, as he too had a strong mind...
This i say to myself is my second 'gift' from Spirit reminding me that i am indeed on the right track (Remember the blood results show that the chemo and my 'resting' is working!) ... First one being the earlier 'warning' pain i had experienced... i then think about my tears in hospital when i had probably released the shock i guess and thought upon the then triggered emotions about my fathers death... He died of a massive asthma attack in his early 50's in 1998 and i think then about the words that had been spoken to me by Spirit through an amazing Medium (Who i have kept in contact with since) My dad had told me through the Medium, who incidentally for the cynical had no knowledge of me at the time and asked me no questions before during or after the reading and only knew my first name, but requested just a simple yes or no when the information given was correct... Of which to my utter surprise, as it was my very first experience of the sort, was absolutely spot on! Down to physical descriptions and full names and she even volunteered information about my father that i didn't even know and had to confirm later with my mother... AND she even corrected me when i spoke the wrong Uncle's name by accident, when more than one relative came for a 'chat'... She told me the age of my father when he died and that i was worried about it and could not release the feelings of guilt i had at him being alone when he died... So my dad had spoken these words to me... "Vicki don't be sad just count to ten slowly and that is how long it took and i was in Spirit, i didn't suffer" ...Count to ten is what the paramedic had asked me to do... i am feeling now that, that is my third 'gift' from Spirit as i now always ask for three confirmations... i won't just take things on face value, i am not gullible and ask from Spirit the same as i ask from my Doctors... i request simple black and white, clear and honest answers to my questions with backing up proof and no more... Perhaps the experience of feeling i was unable to breathe is a part of my healing, because as you know i believe everything has a rhyme and reason and will be written in a language that is pertinent to the individual, both relevant and given with ~Love~ if only we relax the boundaries of our minds... And sometimes i really do need to be knocked over the head with it as my father (and mother) well knows! *Giggle*



So there you go i might beat this so called 'illness' afteral, or at least learn how to live with it, but either way my coin falls, my journey is my journey and i feel i still have so much to learn, experience and give... But i am reminded once again with this current experience, that i am not alone and i can tell you THAT is the True ~Gift~

xox