i feel pain
i struggle walking very far
i have trouble eating
i struggle to breathe
but i am learning that pain is fear
not being able to walk very far means i should rest
appetite and food is about regeneration
and well ~breathe~ is ~Life~
my liver is the seat of my letting go
i have neglected this part of myself
i have turned anger in on myself
and it has formed neat balls of self-hate where the doctors cannot go
i sit with my liver
i help her to let go of the dis-ease that she hangs onto
she is just scared
and caught in a loop
this is simply another mountain to climb
it feels like a handicap, but i will not fall
for it is simply a part of the journey
i have chosen
it's tricky when things hurt
but i have been in pain for a long time now
and my body is simply reminding me
that there is work to be done
i will take up the challenge
for these are the lessons i am here to learn
<3
9 comments:
LOVE to you...
Just from what I can gather from your blog, and not really knowing you, you are a strong and courageous person. You rock and you are one that won't give up.
Dear Vicki,
I think of you and continue to send the blue healing light. There is nothing for me to add, you have said it all.
It wasn't long ago (a year?) when I had to do some serious healing on my liver. It had taken me 30 years to realize that my liver was injured from when I had intentionally overdosed on codeine in a suicide attempt (anger at myself as well.) Poor liver. I felt so sorry.
She forgave me.
I love you.
Good girl, you are listening to your soul. Sending love to you and your liver.xx♥
You are an inspiration in your strength and courage. I'm so glad you have spoken with your pain, standing strong throughout and that you understand you have "turned anger in on myself".
I continue to send healing Reiki blessings and love to you, dear Nolly. xoxo
turning anger in on yourself?
cut that out!!
right now!!
i don't know why you have to deal with fuck cancer! again but vicki, you are a pure and innocent and brave and feisty and wise and fun and smart and of course CUTE so let's not forget that for one moment. okay?
really it rends my heart to know this is happening now. i keep saying damn damn damn. let me know if i can offer anything to you, most of all a chuckle or and elbow.
i love you now and always,
kj
Well, You have changed the backgtound to your Bloggie. It was black and Ominous and now it is soft focus of grass and sky.
I posted a comment to you about the picture of the cat I had on my blog and noted my word verification was chess. I don't see it anywhere, it must have gone missing in Blog world.
Anyhew, as the blessing of your snuggle came, this passing of the need to heal will come as well. Then even when you don't know it we would like to believe that God came by to snuggle with us and while you smiled a smile at someone you shared his warmth, and he was there to thank you.
Damn, Nollyposh, I am so sorry. Yes, pain is made worse by fear. In fact, fear is what's worst about pain. I've sat in terror wondering how I could go on, and wondering if the pain would get even worse. I used to think that drugs would drive the pain away, but they won't, and they have such horrible side effects too.
I come here sometimes, but my blog visiting is usually done while Peggy is asleep, so your music starts before I have time to respond to your posts even if I manage to read them. Today, I hit my sound button, but it took forever to open, so I ran to the door and closed it, but now I hear her stirring.
Thankyou guys for popping by, it means more than i can say, your beautiful words... and SNOW! (((hugs))) (i thought my music thingy you had to actually press ON to play now? It shouldn't automatically go on anymore? Sorry Peggy x)
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