~Answers~

i ~always~ receive ~Answers~

It's just sometimes i forget to stay ~open~

It's true you know
i send out a question to the Universe
and pretty sOOn
(if my ~mind~ is clear)
there will ~always ~ be
~Answers~

For example:

i was worried that my bloggy was a bit... sad
i was worried that i had been shedding a lot of tears
i was worried because i was not being healthy
and i was worried because i didn't know why?

i was ~sLiPPing~

Then today as i was waiting to see my new surgeon
(Small op in May - will let you know about it later)
i came across a pamphlet
that spoke about coping with cancer
after a natural disaster...
and *ping* i got it!

"When a natural disaster occurs, people affected by cancer can face additional hardships, practical difficulties and complex emotional reactions. Feelings of shock, disbelief, anger and despair are common and past grief related to cancer can resurface and cause further emotional pain and distress."

and that was my ~Answer~





















THAT was what had happened to mE
all the old fears
had come back
all the old pain (literally)
had resurfaced
all the old self destructive emotions
had seeped into my bones

only i couldn't sEE it
i couldn't hEaR it it

because i had fallen into 'protection mode'
the way i 'used to'...

i had built back the old walls
(How quickly i build!)
and i had started to try to bury this *fear*
(i can DIG really dEEp tOO!)
i had tried to runaway...
by allowing the 'old me' to take control

the before cancer 'me'
the 'unhaPPy' me
the scared little girl who didn't think much of herself
~me~

So now that i have ~heard~
and now that i have ~seen~

now i ~understand~

so i have taken myself by the hand
and i have thanked the 'old ways'
for their service
but i've told them that they are no longer needed
for i have learned how to live in the ~light~ now
i have learned that i no longer nEEd fear
for i have learned
that i am surrounded by ~Angels~

and when i came home and here to tell you
another small gift had arrived:

To remind me, that...

"A good cry can be wonderful sometimes, and sadness

is nothing more than love announced. Sadness and Unhappiness

are not the same thing, and it is good to remember that.

... And there is this: sadness cleanses the heart."

-Neale Donald Walsch

i will remember the difference
and i will always remember
that WE are never alone in our trials
yOu and mE...

For wE are surrounded by Angels
to dry our ~tears~
and mend our ~hearts~
and guide us to our ~answers~




















xox

(pic 1: http://epilogue.net/cgi/database/art/view.pl?id=51627
pic 2: http://www.allposters.com/-sp/Heaven-Of-Angels-Posters_i1533179_.htm
pic 3: http://www.mysticmedusa.com/wp-content/uploads/2005/02/guardianangel.jpg )

*oh and (Ps) i had to leave REALLY early this morning (for my appointment in the city) to catch an unfamiliar train, and an unfamiliar tram, and by coincidence (???) i met a friend who just happened to be leaving too (on this unfamiliar day) to the same destination (!!!), at this ungodly hour!?! and she just two days before had been on the very same tram (!!! and so could guide me) to the very same area of town (!!!)... So needless to say my ~Angel~ had arrived just when i needed her!!!

ThankYOU dear MeliSSa

xox