On Monday i went to see (i guess you could call her)...
an 'Emotional Therapist'...
Now some might roll their eyes now and mumble under their breath about
'New agey airy fairy stuff' ...BUT she was anything but this
She was practical and down to earth and very generous
in the sharing of her own life experiences...
She spoke to me about addressing the 'emotions of illness'
and when i then moaned (and rolled my eyes!) and talked of all the 'work'
i have already done in this area!
She patiently explained to me how 'recognizing' an emotional incident in your past
is different to 'feeling' an emotional incident in your past...
This rang bells with me, as i have always been one for swallowing my emotions
i have always been one for hanging onto small embarrassing incidents
(That most others would let go of, or laugh at even!)
and playing them over and over in my mind...
i believe this used to be the cause of the frequent migraines i have always suffered
And then she spoke about the different ways of releasing pent up emotion
and how healthy it is for you...
This is not a new concept for me and i have thought about this before
and have often noted that people with serious illness
more commonly than not seem to struggle with similar 'issues' in this area...
Of course we all go through a stage of being angry and upset
about being struck down with illness... Only human of course
But i am talking here about deep held anger and sorrow...
Here's an example of mine to explain...
i loved my dad deeply and unconditionally
He had problems expressing his love for me
(Although my heart always knew he did)
and i spent the best part of my life pining, crying and trying to work it all out
Unfortunately he died (Of an asthma attack at 54yrs) before i had the chance
This left me destitute and for the year after his death
i wanted to follow him...
Since his passing in 1998 i have done a lot of soul searching
and actual physical searching, to understand...
Eventually i found peace, because as i learned more about his life
i understood how it affected and influenced mine...
But the one thing i never did express
was my anger at it all...
That is what Monday helped me to understand
that i have been sooo busy loving my dad
that i forgot that it was okay...
to be ~Human~
...and be angry at him
So i have some techniques now
that are aimed at reaching ~deep~
They are surprisingly simple...
Like writing down at the end of each day, my feelings about the day
NOT the incidents of the day (for that is staying in my head)
But the emotions of the day... The stronger the language the better
and then burning them... (ie) Express and release...
Not a new concept you might say? Silly you might say? Easy you might say?
Then why is it soo difficult for me?
Not so silly perhaps...
<3
16 comments:
Good ideas. Thanks for sharing them.
And I hope you find this useful. I think it could be really helpful, not just for you, but for others.
Please let us know how this works out.
Anger, I don't do it well, but that could be a blog itself--a blog that would bore even me.
"'New agey airy fairy stuff'"
I would not have thought this. I would have thought someone who believed in exercises and homework--the kind of therapist I might go to if I were to go to a therapist.
I think of you often, Ms Posh.
Awesome stuff Honey!xx
i am loving the concept, express and release- i think about the "stuff" i hold onto and mull over again and again, and for what? what purpose does it serve? thank you Vicki..... for sharing and i'm here to say there aint nothin silly about it! LOVE you to the moon!
There is an interesting book "The Divided Mind" by a Dr. John Sarno. His theory is that chronic pain and many illnesses are due to repressed rage. It's very interesting.
When we don't express we depress. When we are depressed, our immune system is also depressed and makes us vulnerable to illnesses of all sorts.
Expression and self-acceptance are crucial keys to healing on all levels.
I don't know why it is so difficult for me, either. I would not say it was either silly or EASY...
I look forward to reading about some of your new techniques...I know there is anger within me just reaching the surface now, after many years.
I am glad I live in the middle of nowhere right now, since I find myself shouting out at previous anger filled events, which I've so easily stuffed away...something I could not have done even a few weeks ago.
Thank you for this post, dear Vicki, it will get easier...xx
I did not roll my eyes once :-).
I think this is wonderful and I have been on my own feel my feelings journey, and also expressing my feelings and sometimes that has not worked for some of the people around me :-).
Good work! Love you.xoxo
Vicki, isn't it wonderful how we never stop learning and growing? I love that you are exploring new ways of releasing that which is pent up.
Sending gentle hugs your way, Ms Vicki And much love
xoxoxo
I am moved by your message today Vicki. Very moved.
My lovely daughter Clare is always in my mind, my heart and my whole being - and always has been.
OK, Dad's may not express their love as much as perhaps they should - but that love is as strong, sometimes stronger, than others who display it more openly.
Clare is now taking a drug called Keppra and I am worried about the side effects of this, one of which is described by other users as 'Keppra Rage' - and rampant mood swings. I just pray that she is spared any ill-effects.
My very best wishes to you Vicki; I think you are wonderful in the way you are facing up to your struggle.
awfred is my word verification for today. It was a terribly awfred day used in a sentence.
I typed to you as a first responder last nigh late but my post was awfred and wouldn't post. Anger of course is not the only emotion we must try to understand, and not the only one appearing in our journals. Please read my blog for my full view of things, thanx.
NB: Tusk (re) our Bloggy 'chat':
Dear Tusk, Thankyou i feel honored that you have taken such time (and effort it seems!) to have this 'chat' with me...
You have touched upon one of my main sensitivities... The main one of course being that perhaps i am going quite mad! (Hearing voices in my head and such) ...Something i have just in this past week been actually able to verbalize!
...Secretly thinking you are going mad can actually send you down that muddy path unless people (such as yourself) come out from the 'wood work' with their own examples... and then of course you start to realise that the 'monster' is not so scarey and simply a part of being 'human' perhaps... So i am most grateful to you...
My hope is to be able to sift through these different parts of myself and as i unsurp and define them, to form the whole picture of me... i hope to take the shattered and torn bits to find they are like the jigsaw of myself... i particularly hope this helps in the healing process or in the least gives me some Peace within...
i still maintain that perhaps the spider's appearance in the shower (Are you psychic?!!) was not co-incidental but comes to serve me a purpose... Will i attempt to drown him? Will i make the effort to release him back outside or will i contemplate that he and i have come together in this moment to teach each other something? i have found myself staring into his myriad of eyes with such thoughts!
Soo many words in my head, so many disjointed memories and feelings of guilt that i indeed am not a worthy parent... i suspect more so that some Heavenly Grace saw fit to send me my babes to Teach ME... and perhaps that this is the True way of it?
Thankyou again Tusk... You certainly seem psychic with this conversation... Perhaps it is that ability of yours to tap into the voices within? (((Hugs))) Vicki x
Rob-Bear: You know me! i will! X;-)
Snow: i would read it! ...i think of you often too especially in the wee hours when i battle with my pain knowing that on the other side of the world you are doing the same (((hugs)))
Natalie <3 <3 <3
Sandi: To the mOOn and back! xox
Bonnie: Thankyou i believe this is the essence of my illness too- Thankyou for the book to look up <3
Marion (((Hugs)))
Audrey: and i feel it too and send some back to you *Kisses*
Philip: i think of you both often (((Hugs))) and ~Healing~ thoughts to you both x
Annie: It is quite the journey no?!! i feel for my family too... There is such a fine line these days xox
I feel such love for you. You may be struggling with cancer, and I am apparently healthy but the healing is the same. You are no sicker than I am, yours is just manifesting physically.
"i think of you often too especially in the wee hours when i battle with my pain knowing that on the other side of the world you are doing the same (((hugs)))"
Oh, Nolly, how sweet! This definitely means that we both have to hang in there.
Dear DeeDee, if only ~Love~ could heal <3 Hey what am i saying! We KNOW that it does...Love You <3
Snow if you can, i can and if you will, i will x
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