Toilet humor

Well literally it is... but not 'rude' if you get my gist



On Saturday just gone one of my cousin's and her 3 son's
made a move back to 'the family property' into a tiny cottage...
On the rather large piece of land also lives my Aunty and Uncle (her parents)
in a small cottage, and my other cousin (her sister) lives in the bigger home there
with her husband and 2 children...
It is a beautiful part of the world, with large fields, horses, dogs
a tennis court and swimming pool...
It also sports sheds of all crooked and magical, and it is here every now and again...
that my family gathers around a bonfire...
Sometimes it is for Christmas, sometimes for birthdays, other times like Saturday
it is to simply help out... In this case with my cousin's move...
So it was on Saturday that i too hoped to help out...
but as my health was good on the day
but not quite vigorous enough to be of any real kind of help
i popped in later for a cuppa...

And it was around the outside fire, after the move was complete
that the usual sharing of funny tales began...
It began with one of my Uncle's telling a 'toilet joke' and thus the 'tone' was set!

His funny story was of a time when he went camping with his family (which he often does)
and another family, and how he, for the comfort of all, due to the lack of amenities
'built' his BEST outback dunny (toilet) yet!
He found the perfect spot where 3 trees where tightly growing together
and in-between the trees he wove some bracken to form walls
leaving one free for the 'doorway'...
He then dug the hole of the appropriate depth and placed upon it...
the free standing toilet seat...
He smiled as he attached to one of the trees a ' toilet paper holder'
and happily noted that on sitting, only your head would show...
The 'door' was the magnificent view of the outback...
and was opposite and faced away from the campsite... Perfect!
Very proud was he and very grateful were his fellow campers to be sure!
A few days later the campers decided on a short trip
and my Uncle took the opportunity for a little 'time out' and R & R
On their leaving he grabbed a magazine, a cold drink, his smokes
and sank gratefully onto his wonderful outback dunny!
Merrily he sat there in the peace and quiet
as only a man can do, soaking up the ambiance of the beautiful outdoors
When (wait for it!) SUDDENLY he heard a *CRACK*
and before he had time to react...
He PLONKED bottom first into his perfectly dug dunny hole...
Well, shocked, with feet facing the sky... It slowly dawned on him...
that it wasn't just HIS 'outback droppings' he was immersed (nearly submersed!!!) within!
OH LORDY!!! And with NO running water, and NO-ONE to help!!!

WELL we were nearly falling orrfff our chairs ourselves
*laughing* holding onto our splitting sides...
as he continued to tell us how he eventually waddles
pants around his ankles to eventually find a packet of wet wipes...
...to begin the long and arduous task of cleaning himself up!

Omigoodness-ness now if that doesn't put you orfff camping
(or 'tenting' as a gay friend of mine always corrects me!) then NOTHING will! Lol!



Oh but i haven't finished yet, oh no, no, no!
Then my Aunty, who is not so keen on the camping lifestyle
comes up with a camping tale of her own...
And begins to relay how on one such trip with my Uncle
on a looong car ride in the middle of nowhere that she (Yep you guessed it...)
...needed to pee!
So there they are on a long dusty road, miles from civilization
surrounded on both sides by looong miles of fields... sighhhh...
Eventually she can stand it no longer and asks my Uncle to pull over
near a field full of waist high flowers... She figures to herself that this just may
afford her a little dignity, that perhaps only her head may show as she sinks down
to take a little pee...
So off she strides, into the fields, searching for the 'perfect' spot!

Now i will just pause for a moment ~here~ for a little footnote...
Now this Aunty of mine is a lot like me, in that she considers herself 'spiritual'
(as opposed to religious) and has a mind set very similar to mine about...
'Putting things out there' for the Universe to 'provide'...
(Lol THIS really does make this story all the more funnier!)

So there she is 'hunting', eyes down, for the perfect 'spot' (Just like a girl!) When...
"Low and behold" she comes across, surrounded by waist high flowers...

...a TOILET!!!

AAaaaaooooooohhhhlalalala! *Place sound of caroling Angels*
and *sunbeam stream of light from Heaven*

Yep she found a TOILET in the middle of a field! In the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!
(AND my Uncle has photo's to prove it!)
So of course, as you would, she thanked the Universe and promptly placed her possie...
upon where all civilized possies should go when they need a pee!
Would you believe they later discovered it to be the relics of an old caravan park!

Haaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahah!

Well i don't know about *you* but those two silly little tales sure made MY day!

*Wink*

X:-)