Dear Bloggy (aka) Dear Diary

...And this is what essentially MY blog is all about... My way of defining these thoughts in my head, releasing them from the prison within and hearing them with my own ears... What i am particularly drawn to with blogging is the fact that i can share here too, in all of life's diverse journey's, feeling the pain and joy of other bloggers and in this blogging i become something greater than myself... it is not unlike a 'getting of wisdom' in a way, for in sharing i am learning and growing in ways different to just expressing my thoughts to myself on paper... i still physically write for the sheer joy of feeling the flow of ink, but i feel blessed to be able to roam the world in this very tactile way that blogging offers... to me this 'bloggy' is more than 'just chatting', but it is about a step into the world of energetically connecting and holding the light for the planet... it is important to me, because it is essentially, for me, a breaking of the bonds of 'the illusion' ...for what are we 'out here' in bloggy world, but thought and emotion connecting...

i think of Connie when i touch on this subject for her last blog was about this energetic connecting that we mostly unconsciously do... she spoke about a draining that happens to her and does to many of us who are more aware, and as a result, sensitive to the flow of energy around us... it is beautiful to me when people 'notice' this, because to me, what they are connecting with, is the bodies energy system and learning about it's connection to our physical selves...

it is my understanding that we are ~mind, body and spirit~ and i have come to understand that it follows that every illness has these three different levels too... for example when i was first diagnosed with breast cancer i came to understand that on an emotional level i was holding onto some unhealthy emotions that were actual physical experiences buried deep within my childhood ...and so i came to understand that my body, to protect me, buried these experiences deep within the cells of my body... our body has memory... did you know that the body has this capability? i have discovered that it does, for what really is the brain anyway? i have learned that my body has this cellular memory, has this ability, and i learned it through my direct experience of illness... this is the 'gift of cancer' i have experienced... cancer has taught me that my body is always in communication with me, that all i have to do is learn the language of my spirit and it is this connection to my body, that becomes the vehicle to hearing my inner wisdom and learning from it...

But of course 'knowing' and 'dealing with it'... well there in lies the spiritual journey, no? For we are and have always been for all of mans history and all of the journeys of our lives, been on a spiritual journey within, to reach into that place of love and understanding, where our connection to ~everything~ is...

and "Reiki" has been my medicine, as Sandy often speaks about X:-) i have certificates in Reiki 1 & 2 and if this is your first notion of this modality: it is 'energy medicine' where you learn to reach into the body's energy system and in so relieve the physical... some of us, particularly mothers and children use this 'medicine' quite naturally for it is my understanding that Reiki is LOVE... it is prayer, it is where you place your understanding of God, or The Universe or Mother Nature (well there are many 'names' for ~love~ are there not?) but there is no confusion that it is an 'actual' energy that touches us in a very 'real' fashion and we often feel it as 'heat' coming from the laying of hands... Jesus was a master of this... and today in these most amazing times it is something that science has started to be able to measure... fancy that, measuring the *magic* of ~love~ Do you remember as a child that your mum could 'cure' you with a cuddle or a kiss or a laying of her hands on your forehead... love, reiki, energy medicine... children understand it as do animals... my cat will roll over for it and bliss out in it, my children ask for it when they have tummy aches... and i have learned that animals and children are not easily fooled... they know 'truth' when they see/feel it...

i have also come to understand that via this cellular memory we also have a connection to a bigger 'community' memory that a lot of indigenous and the more ancient of our peoples cultures on this planet, connect to through sacred ceremonies... through ceremony they reach to their elders for their wisdom and advice, Renee talks of such things sometimes... i have learned about this reaching into 'memory' through simple meditation techniques... for me it was an understanding that i am held back sometimes by the belief systems i have held deep within my cells... and in my times of meditation i have learned to suspend my beliefs (to use my faerie eyes!) and just let my 'imagination' (that 'word' itself actually betrays my belief system!) and off i go on my *magical* journeys... magical because in reaching within, i have reached into my past, my peoples cultural memory, all the knowledge of my 'higher self', God, the Universe, my physical body and through the use of this 'vehicle' of my imagination, i have been able to have 'actual' conversations, that i have then been able to bring into the physical to help me... wow hey?

... every night at the moment i lay my hands on my (left) breast with the use of reiki and (through my imagination) i sit within my breast and ask questions... before i went to my surgeon, before my tests, before i was ready to deal with this returning cancer... i knew... my body had started to tell me that "all was not well in paradise"... that was why i got my tattoo... its purpose was to keep me focused on the fact that i was on a spiritual journey and to not let fear be my guide (as hard as those internal battles can sometimes be) it was/is to remind me that i am foremost a spiritual being on a wonderful human holiday...
and so again i go on a journey to commune with my body... i have learned that my breasts are about my self image as a woman, i have learned that cancer in energy terms, is about deeply held anger and grief, i have listened to my body when she has spoken to me, when she has whispered the secrets of learning to meld my physical life with my spiritual,... i have had great spiritual 'beings' from mythology and history guide me in very practical ways in my meditations, even when i have had no conscious understanding of them... for instance i was never big on Egyptian gods, or their mythology until a physically beautiful woman with the head of a lioness reached out to me in a meditation and taught me that in order to heal my physical body, that i had to hold my body image in my mind, in perfection, i was simply she said... to program my cells, to show them how to 'be' well... i could not 'be' well she said if i did not know what 'well' was... i later googled (oh how i LOVE the internet!) and discovered the very same picture that i had in my mind and there she was, the goddess Sekhmet... (who? what? wow! well what do you know!) ... i discovered a small not well known fact that she was/is the Egyptian Goddess for physicians (not just Sekhmet the destroyer- a very strong goddess this one apparently!) but i also discovered that the Egyptians were the ones who worked very extensively with the body image (ie) perfecting the body perfect not just for the eye, but in health terms too... some believe that they understood and worked with the body's energy system...

Everynight i also pray, i consider having a "mantra", a praying to the cells of my body and it is this most ancient of spiritual practice, taught to me by my beloved guru, as the pathway to teaching my cells on an energetic level how to change or heal... this is not all you do, but a part of how you heal your body, how you teach your body to change on a cellular level, this is the way i teach my body to change direction... this is how the most ancient of planet earth cultures have 'done the miraculous'... These so called 'spiritual practices' i have learned are surprisingly practical... as i have surprisingly learned all 'truth' to be...

And so i do not begrudge this returning 'gift' ...for it just means that i have more to learn, or else the scans i had would have showed my body 'full' of cancer...it was possible, my surgeon knew it too and was as joyful as i was to learn that it was contained... the fact that it is back within the same breast means something to me... i have more work to do, i have more wonders within to explore and i thank the wonderful Suzi Blu for guiding me back to the 'how to' reach within to my feminine (practical guide) via the artist that i have always been... but more on that subject another time hey... i think i've 'spoken out aloud' enough for one day, don't you!

(Ps) Listen to the words of the song by ~Bob Evans~ i have playing X:-) "Don't you think it's time" ...i love em! X:-)