"Am i awake if i understand that i am not asleep?
am i awake if i hold the knowledge in my hand?
am i awake if my physical self is still in sleeping?
am i awake if some parts of me don't understand?
Being 'awake' is not just about self realization
being awake is not just heeding to the call
being awake is not just opening your eyes to "it"
being 'awake'
is allowing yourself
to fall..."
vicki
...the little piece of writing above is something i wrote just recently about 'TRUST'
yes you know that funny little word that sometimes gets stuck in your crook
that funny 'little' word with the BIG implications...
my 'chat' with my dad went well (as you know)
but my 'chat with my surgeon yesterday was not so hopeful...
well maybe that's the wrong word to use
but i'm a little 'flat' today...
they didn't get all of the cancer
there was more there than they expected
it hasn't spread (thankyou God)
but it is still there
in the cells of myself
i'm not sure i understand why
i'm not sure which 'way' i should go
my surgeon it seems can't cut into the invisible
he wishes he could
i have a week to get my head around this information
i have a week to shed all of my tears
i have a week to sit alone with my spirit
and have a talk about the lessons of
TRUST
the ~beautiful~ artwork above is from the gorgeous DeeDee
ThankYOU so much my dear friend
that she should arrive here to me today
is ~beautiful~
as is she
as are you
xox
am i awake if i hold the knowledge in my hand?
am i awake if my physical self is still in sleeping?
am i awake if some parts of me don't understand?
Being 'awake' is not just about self realization
being awake is not just heeding to the call
being awake is not just opening your eyes to "it"
being 'awake'
is allowing yourself
to fall..."
vicki
...the little piece of writing above is something i wrote just recently about 'TRUST'
yes you know that funny little word that sometimes gets stuck in your crook
that funny 'little' word with the BIG implications...
my 'chat' with my dad went well (as you know)
but my 'chat with my surgeon yesterday was not so hopeful...
well maybe that's the wrong word to use
but i'm a little 'flat' today...
they didn't get all of the cancer
there was more there than they expected
it hasn't spread (thankyou God)
but it is still there
in the cells of myself
i'm not sure i understand why
i'm not sure which 'way' i should go
my surgeon it seems can't cut into the invisible
he wishes he could
i have a week to get my head around this information
i have a week to shed all of my tears
i have a week to sit alone with my spirit
and have a talk about the lessons of
TRUST
the ~beautiful~ artwork above is from the gorgeous DeeDee
ThankYOU so much my dear friend
that she should arrive here to me today
is ~beautiful~
as is she
as are you
xox
15 comments:
She is You darling Vicki.
oh god these tears are gonna break the drought! love you DeeDee x
...you don't have to 'find' the inner shine dear one; it never went anywhere.
It's not about smiling or how we are feeling. Emotions and fears are like clouds in the sky, the sun doesn't leave because there are clouds.
I have emailed you.
xxxxmichelle
Dearest Vicki,
My sweet sweet friend. Deep Breath. O.K.~ now, weigh all the best options and surround yourself with the strongest support system you have: YOU ARE GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS :0) :0) :0) :0) :0)
{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
:0) :0) :0) :0) :0) :0) :0)
:0) :0) :0) :0) :0)
I am holding your hand strongly
DeeDee is holding your hand strongly
Michelle is holding your hand strongly
Connie is holding your hand strongly
Sandy is holding your hand strongly
Renee is holding your hand strongly
Erica is holding your hand strongly
Dee is holding your hand strongly
Sidney is holding your hand strongly
Maggie is holding your hand strongly ...
We love you and we will not let you fall :0)
All My Love,
Carla :0)
... Did You feel those {{{HUGS}}}}
yet??
Vicki-
Trust is so essential, but it does bring me peace no matter what is going on all around me or how it appears.
In trying times I tell myself the same words that first got me to trust -- "Just what if everything was happening perfectly for your soul's greater good and the good of everyone around you? What IF it was all alright? What if you could trust that you are being held in the arms of the universe and there is a right order that you can rest easy that you don't fully understand -- and don't need to? What if?"
Though it can be hard at times for me when I[m faced with something daunting, I remember that there is so much more to who we are than my limited human mind can sometimes grok. And I found that no matter what was going on, when I'd say the words above to myself, I truly saw it all differently almost immediately, moved through it all with a sense of calm at my core. I know it's overused, but it was the first time I ever could say I experienced serenity inside, or peace.
You are already there from what you write about on this blog. You are such a beautiful, shining, lovely person. That news is scary and disappointing (With all the affirmations of good we do, I still think it's OK to say that if it is -- and to feel the entire realm of feelings that come up). But I offer my little thought on trust today in case it's of any comfort at all to you.
.... and I will trust that.
Carla -- how did you know I was writing Vicki just at the moment you were commenting!
Carla --PS: I wrote you two e-mails in the last few days but I'm afraid they may have gone to your spam folder. Can you take a look
Thanks Vicki for letting me write your other commenters here, lol.
Hi Nolly, this is the first time I come here and I love your blog. This´s very interesting and lovely.
Hi nolly!!!!!! :))
happy to read you!! ^_^
My wishes for you, dear Vicki:
hope and strength for every day, loving and tender care,
laughter, and the support of family and friends
courage and comfort
Loving Hugs,
nanakin1 (Nancy)
You have really been on my mind lately and I have been praying for you every night. Stay strong you are loved!!! XOXO
Vicki I don't really know what to say, just know that I am thinking of you. *hugs*
Vicki, I'm sending you love and the biggest bunch of hope across the ocean. I hope you catch it on the other end. Just know that I'm thinking of you and praying for you.
Love, Julie
Thankyou so much everyone...
i really am overwhelmed <3
~thankyou~
i am sure it is YOU guys keeping me afloat right now
...i seem to be losing track of the days so forgive me
i am thinking of you too xoxoxoxox
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