today
i spent the morning trying to be organized
but
every time i went THIS way
i got sent THAT way
and every time i went THAT way
somehow
i ended up THIS way
sighhhhh
but (i thought to myself)
THIS usually 'happens' to me
...for a reason
so when a friend of mine
came over for tea...
i listened to her
when she spoke to me
about how not ~letting go~
holds us back emotionally
and perhaps
?physically too
hmmmmmm
i listened carefully
to my wise friends words
because she spoke from her own experience
and her heart
and i knew too
that she was having tea with me
on THIS day
for a reason
so THAT's when i made a promise
to my friend
and to myself
that it was time
to let go
of the past
(ps) it has something to do with
...the burning of ~OLD words~
kept for too long
in small books
about too many sad things...
~thankyou~ dearest RB
*click on the pic above for artist details
(ppss): i love this little bloggy
not only for the ~beautiful~ photography
but this ~cutest~ little ~lady bug song~ intro
so ~cute~ (smiling) x
12 comments:
This made me think of all my journals -- I started keeping them after reading Harriet the Spy when I was 10, and I have them ALL, save 2 I lost (I even have a few baby diaries that I wrote in when I was 7 and 8). There are over 400, lol. Funny thing is, I never look back in them. I don't know if I could burn them, I used to think they were about the only thing I'd take in a fire... but now there are 12 boxes of them, and that would be difficult to grab and run, lol.
Still, it's the only thing I've done consistantly all my life. SO though I'm saving them, maybe I've let go the pain, confusion and turmoil in them by only moving forward after I was able to release those emotions THROUGH the act of writing them down. For me, it was the way I got it out of my body, and out of my head.
I wish you could come over for tea!
I have never kept a journal!! I have, a handful of times, written heaps of things onto a blank canvas to get them out of my heart, then painted over them, completely, until there is no memory of them...I find that to be quite cathartic, but it is only in recent years that I have done this off and on. Overall I am pretty straight forward and am quite happy to verbally let everyone know what I like or don't like, what my thoughts are etc...most people have no doubt about how I am feeling or how they make me feel...for better or worse! LOL!!
But you need to do whatever it takes to heal you...so do it, and do it with confident love.
xxsm
X:-o!
you are the only person i have eva met Sydney
with the same kinda 'diary addiction' as me (!?!)
...i started with a diary for my 9th birthday & in that one i even have some spider web that i ceremoniously included on the completion of Charlotte's Web (the book) and a little piece of tissue with my tears upon because the ending made me cry so
(i was a rather 'deep' child! lol!) and ...
ME TOO, me too! every summer when we have fire season... my 'important things' to go in the box beside the door are: the photos, my olde teddy (from tha 60's!) and yep those old diary's o mine!!!
sighhhh
but something (well others) keep suggesting i let them go...
but i'm afraid
that if i do
i will disappear
somehow
i'm so unsure, i had a tendency to let go of a lot of pain into those diary's of mine...
at different times in my life though i agree, that they probably freed me
but now?
i'm not so sure?
perhaps in some ways they may be holding me back some how
as i can't seem to be able to re-read them...
as it is like a time warp
and because i tend to write as i speak... i am transported back in time and i remember things that i have long ago forgotten and that is so scarey sometimes that i just can't seem to read more than a page
yes ~tea~ with you Sydney would be a fine thing, the ~stories~ we would share, the tears we would shed and the laughs! Lol! i can hear a funny joke now... about the chewwy gum on the chickens foot!
X;-)
~Thankyou~sweetmango~
i just seem to be on a roll these last few years
letting go
letting go
and more letting go...
where will it all end?
(she says eyes to tha heavens!)
i suspect painting over your words is a letting go too
and because i am kinda stuck and need to get moving forward
and well those diary's
sighhhh...
xox
Wow!!! Sydney and Vicki--we need to start a club...because I started keeping a journal too since I was around 10 years old. By the time I was in high school, and I moved out of my Mom's house, I had boxes and boxes and boxes of those babies to already lug around. Then---through my teens and twenties...you can imagine how many more.....and every time I moved...more boxes followed. By 30 I found myself moving 2000 miles to AZ and decided to store the boxes at a friend's house instead of pay to move them...and I promised her I would do something with them soon. Two years went by. I went back to visit and was told I had to do something about them. They were not welcomed cluttering her life either.
I carried those boxes around with me for a long time. They were more like companions, and yes, I neglected theese companions for two years...more like abandoned. But I realized it was only then that it was during this time I really started to feel free...I really began to grow.
It's all these words we carry with us...stories we tell and retell that clutter our minds. The past ends up becoming a piece of clay that weighs a ton---through the years we shape it and reshape it--but it still stays a heavy clump of clay.
I got rid of those boxes. That clump of clay is going back into the earth, and I've slowly tried to put away my chiseling tools.
Peace & Love.
i am not MUCH for journaling myself, but, i have written down things that are bad, make me sad, make me upset....then i put it under my pajamas in a drawer~
i was once told, by a pretty smart guy...and an even more together girl (wink, wink :)
that to KEEP these words HOLDS YOU BACK, keeps you STUCK IN THE PAST, keeps you reLIVING those old emotions~ funny, i was just writing in mine yesterday...
i think it's time to make a fire! hey Vick? wanna have a bonfire today? ya~ i think i'm gonna get dressed & go make some smoke!
LOVE TO YOU MY DEAR FRIEND!!!
~kisses~
e
Yes! Yes! Yes!!!
A few years ago our neighbours had a big bonfire. It was really huge. I was running back and forth with handfuls of my journals, throwing them in this fire that was as big as a room. Journals full of angst and pain.
whoosh! I watched them burn and never looked back.
I don't regret it.
xxooxxoo
The past is not you darling Vicki. Every day we can release it all and see what is left. It is true, letting go, letting go, letting go, every day to release as we take in the new. We are what the experiences pass through. We think we will lose who we are, but it isn't true.
We are the
GOD
that it all passes through.
Not what passes.
<3
Yes. It's all so true.
The universe is pure magick! I love your post, hugs to you. ps, I still have diaries back to 1982 (grade 9!). I think they are amazing and we can learn a lot from them about ourselves... and some times, it is a very good idea to burn them!
LOL, I have an idea, lets all post a pic of our first journal with some line out of it! teehee
I hear what you all are saying, but somehow I see myself being glad I do have them to look back on when I am nearing the end of this life -- when I'm 80 or who knows how old, with the time. If at that time I am not interested, how cool would it be to BURN them then?!?!
I guess I also am so interested in the diaries of women from the wagon wheel days, from decades or centuries past, and loved the idea of finding a treasure trove of some strangers notes in an attic someday, that mine in 100 years might mean to be discovered by someone someday. I'm not saying that the stuff I wrote daily has any real meaning, but a grocery list from the 1700 lends real insight to us now...
Just more thoughts to add to the soup!
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